Even before I had my daughter I struggled with aspects of my life that I could not control. For me, being out of control means that chaos could be around the corner. If things aren't done the way I do them, something bad could happen. This isn't the way I feel with everything in life but with things may affect comfort level.
Well having a baby is the biggest way to learn how to let go of control. No matter how hard I tried to get my daughter on a daily schedule in the first 6 months, it didn't happen. I would hear how other mom's would get their baby on a schedule and look at those example schedules online. Nothing worked. Her naps were so inconsistent, still are. She would take naps anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours and you'd never know which one it would be. It would drive me nuts. I craved order and routine so bad but she was not giving me any hope to having that. Of course I don't blame her, she's a baby, she does what her body tells her to.
Months later I finally got better with not trying so hard. It goes back to lowering your expectations and not forcing it. I was exhausted trying so hard and getting nowhere. I finally told myself she isn't ready to take long naps, that she is still learning to get through the sleep process. She is a catnapper, I am done trying to make it any different. When I finally let that stress go I felt so much better. Now instead of being angry that she only slept 30 min I was just happy that she napped and went to sleep without a fight.
What's so hard with raising a baby is that in the first year they are constantly growing and changing. For so long when trying to put her down for a nap after 2 hours of being awake she would fight it, cry or play, anything but fall asleep. I finally realized that she wasn't tired at the 2 hr mark like she used to be. I was so focused on her getting the sleep she needed. I was too afraid of having her get to the over tired stage that I didnt even think i was doing something wrong until my overthinking came in. I was trying to force her to sleep without her being tired. So I lengthened her awake times. A mom told me that she used the 2-3-4 method. After she woke up in the morning I waited 2 hours. After she woke up from that nap I waited 3 hours, then waited until bedtime. She eventually grew accustomed to this schedule around 7 months and boy, did it do a lot of good for the both of us. She is now taking longer naps although some may be short, it doesn't matter because as long as she wakes up happy that's all that matters.
Another thing is stressing about the amount of formula and food she gets. I know I can't force feed her because I feel like she needs more. She is to tell me when she's full or not hungry. I'm placing my expectations on her. I have learned that even if she has not eaten what I think she should she is still getting what she needs.
Now this just didn't happen overnight it took months. I was just so tired of worrying about something I could not control. It may have just been that but also working on my self and going to therapy has also helped. I still get a little annoyed if she doesn't eat the amount she usually does but she is not starving and there are times where I don't feel like eating much either, she's human. There is just no point to stress about it although it's easier said than done. It takes time.
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